Ice Nice Tea

I HAVE A GIGANTIC NEED STATEMENT QUIZ TOMORROW AND I HOPE I CAN REMEMBER EVERYTHING!!!!!!!

I am scared.

At least this week is almost over. Oh joy.

HOT!

It is so hot! I went to lay down a while, and the next thing I knew an hour had gone by. I was knocked out. When I woke up, it was even hotter than before. What is happening?! I can't take it. My head hurts. My eyes are blurred. My legs keep collapsing under me. I can't open the windows because hot wind keeps blowing in.

Wind = Yes
Hot= No
Hot Wind = Oooh No

Thank goodness for fans. They just spin and spin and spin and spin and magically cool me down. BUT! Beware. Once I step away from the magic fan's line of influence I melt. How nice would it be if I had some ice cream right now? Very nice! I think sometime soon Ben and Jerry's is going to have one of those free ice cream days. It is only in certain places, so look it up and if one of them is nearby take me with you! Stream of consciousness narration. Is this what I am doing? Darn English. Making me realize that there is a term for how I am writing. First person. Since I am using "I" and "you". Huzzah!

Wait.

Stop right there.

Don't turn around.

This may come as a shock to you.

But.

It is important.

And it is important to you and me.

So listen up.

Don't listen down.

Or look away.

Look straight ahead.

Okay.

So here it is.

I have a quiz in English!

So here is an interesting little thing. Starting Thursday I'm going to be lugging around a bag of trash. Not your trash or his trash or her trash or that trash, but my trash. Yep. Yup. Yip. Yuppers. Yipperoo. One week. Thursday to Thursday. I can't throw anything away. Except into my little trash baggie. All the trash I make goes in the bag. Not into the trash can, that goes to the bigger trash can, that goes to the truck, the goes to the landfill. Now now. Don't get grossed out too quickly. This doesn't mean I have to lug around my food scraps, and used toilet paper. I keep those in a log. Not a wooden log but a written log. On a peice of paper. Food scraps do not have to be thrown away. They can be put in a compost pile. Compost pile. Compost pile. Great right? If you do not know what a compost pile is..

LOOK IT UP

Scabs

I HURT MYSELF!

I was trying to swat a fly away.

Hit my glasses, which I was wearing.

My glasses scratched me, and now I have a gash between my left eye and nose.

I also have a random cut on my right middle finger.

Looks like a paper cut.

A thick paper paper cut.

Now the gash became a scab and I was poking at the scab.

Now the scab is coming off.

I sat with my legs crossed in front of the computer in my chair and now my legs feel like jelly.

The scab is still not coming off.

It is half off and half stuck on.

But if I poke more at it it will become a scar.

A scar on my face

I don't want that!

My legs are going numb now.

It stings like needles poking endlessly.

You know what I mean.

I can't take it.

I'm going to rip the darn thing off my face.

No no.

I can't.

What if it makes it worse.

Stupid scabs.

They are so rough and easy to pick at.

No one can resist a scab that isn't ready to fall of yet.

At least I can't.

Grossing anyone out?

Making anyone want to pick at their scab?

I am.

Not.

My foot is still numb.

Only slightly though.

Why am I even blogging about this?

Nothing more to do.

Except do my homework.

Calculus.

English.

Study for stuff.

I could be.

But I would rather sit in front of my computer.

Picking at a scab.

I'm grossing myself out.

Ouch ouch ow ow ow.

Picking at it isn't going to work.

I'm going to have to let it dangle on my face until it is ready to fall off.

Jump off.

Skip off.

Leap off.

Run away.

Detach itself from my face.

Imagine that.

A scab growing legs and jumping off my face.

Interesting.

I hope that never happens to me.

To someone else maybe.

It would be fun to see.

But not me.

Foot no longer numb.

I'll sit with my legs folded to the left then.

How long till they go numb again?

Running.

Faster and faster.

Finally breaking free.

Stupid stupid scabs.

....

IT'S OFF!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Yes Yes Yes!

Ew.

Kind of gross now that I look at it.

It has no legs.

Thankfully.

Or not thankfully.

I will never get to see a scab jump off someone's face.

Will I.

Now it's just there.

On my napkin.

Laying there.

The napkin has a scab.

Run scab run!

Now all I have to do is wait for my finger to heal.

Darn paper cuts.

How did I even get it?

I don't think the scab was ready to come off.

What have I done?!

I'll be scarred for life.

Not emotionally like others.

But physically.

Ohhhh...intense.

Not really.

"How did you get that?"

"I hit myself in the face."

"Oh. How horrible?"

"Well. I was trying to hit a fly."

It's still here, there, on my table.

On the napkin.

Not on my face.

I could take a picture of it.

Put it online.

Then everyone can take a look.

But I won't.

If anyone wants to see it.

Come dig in my garbage can.

HA!

Marvel at what was once on my face.

Well actually it is only a part of it.

It wasn't supposed to come off yet.

Half is still there.

Incomplete.

The poor thing has to go on now without its lower half.

Or upper half.

Poor me.

I'll have half a scar.

All because I was itching to pick at my scab.

Pack Rat

I'm the type of person that gets attached to an inanimate object. It's not like I mean to. Whether it is a stuffed animal or a TV, I can't help but feel devastated when it is thrown away or, in this case, given away. I am a pack rat.
I don't let go of things. Today we had our old old old TV taken/given away to one of our friend's friend. It was horrible. As he was carrying it out the door, then out another door, then finally onto his blue and dirty truck, I wanted to lunged on top of the TV and plug it back in for one last show, or two. It has been in our house for as long as I can remember. Actually, I think it is the same age as I am. Like a brother or sister. Like an oddly rectangular shaped twin! What am I going to do without him? What about all the memories that I have made? Playing Nintendo 64, and Gamecube, and that weird Dance Dance Revolution copy game. Yoshi's Story, Soul Calibur, Mario this and that, Harvest Moon, and more! Watching shows, eating in front of it, putting stickers in the upper left hand corner. Gone. All gone. WHY?! One phone call and it is taken away. I didn't even get a chance to take a proper picture with it.
I know later on I am going to forget all about it, and not feel as crushed as I am now, but so many years have been put into this one object, this one hunk of material. So many times I complained about how old and horrible the TV was, but really didn't want to get rid of it in the first place. Attachments. Some people get attached to another person, or a pet, but I happened to get attached to an old TV.
Now all I have worry about is when we get rid of the other one. He is way way way much much much older than the one we lost today. Stupid sentimental value. Pftt...I miss it.

YUM?

...I just had a whole mouthful of half cooked rice.




just letting you know what I'm being fed nowadays. :[

What do you do with a Klondike bar?

It is official. I no longer have a social life. According to my mom, I have to stay home and do homework like a good little girl. When I finish my homework? Start reading the textbooks, make it so that I am ten chapters ahead of everyone else. Finished the textbooks? Look back on my notes. Done looking back? Memorize each word and symbol and picture and spaces and notes and sounds. Done memorizing? Restart the cycle. DUH!
I can't go out on weekends anymore. Nope not at all. Yesterdays homecoming was the last time I will ever have fun. At least that is what mom wants. I can't even go to church anymore. Why go to church when I could be studying? Why talk to friends when I could be and should be doing homework? Why sit around and relax for ten seconds when I could be sitting at my desk, breaking down, going mad, and bawling about what I want to be doing? The only times I am allowed to go out are when I have SAT class or violin lessons.
SAT classes from 10:00am to 3:30pm? Sure! Why not? Let's add a math class! Now it could be 10:00 to 5:00! Now that we have Saturday all worked out, let's work on Sunday. Okay okay. Sunday you can sleep until 12:00 or 1:00. Hmm...that sounds nice. Not bad. Not bad at all. Wake up, eat lunch, do work or study until 5:00, go to violin lessons, come home at 6:00, eat, work and study until 8:00 or 9:00, go shower, oh look I still have time to cram in some more studying, study, study, get yelled at about how messy and irresponsible I am, study study, get a lecture about what is right and what is wrong, study, get told that I should be studying everday and every hour, every minute, every second of my life, study, study some more, get yelled at because it is 11:00 and I am supposed to be asleep already, so I have energy to study some more, tomorrow, again, crawl into bed, about to fall asleep, mom comes in, whispers or shouts or just says in my ear, "you have to study and be a good girl, I know you want to have fun, I want you to have fun too, but you need to make school and SATs your priority, I love you, right now you have to try your best, be the best, be the smartest, you don't need to go out with friends all the time, you don't need to talk to you friends that much, you have to study, you have to make it into a good school, I want the best for you."
I know she wants all the best for me, but I am going insane! Each time I hear her voice, or anyone's voice I want to rip my hair out, grab something and rip it apart, smash my face into the wall, scratch at my arms until I bleed, scream and curse at everyone and everything, break things, and get a gun shoot everyone until all the bullets in the world are gone. Sometimes, even thinking about these things makes me want to do something horrible.
On another note. My mom is going over to my neighbors right now, and thanking them for calling the police when they thought someone was going to break into our house. How nice. Except it is a bit more complicated than that. Haha. "Thank you for worrying about us and calling the police. It was very nice of you." But this happened how many days ago? Oh well. Ho hum. What can I do? What can I say to everyone to make things better? How can I make it so everyone is satisfied? Why can't I make it so everyone is happy? Why can't things work out for everyone, including me? Why is it that everything I do leads to something worse? What to do now? Study? Fine then. I should be doing that anyways.

YAH-pan

Oh dear. It has been quite a while since I have blogged. This summer has been fun. I guess. Haha. No no it has been really exciting. Apart from my horrible two months ?? in summer school and SAT prep classes. Japan japan JApan jaPan hapan gapan yapan. I came back from Japan! Since I am now somehow on the subject. Ahem. I dont feel like talking about it. Weird isn't it?